Gbnovels Resisting Temptation : Chapter 8 When he looks over at me the sound stops abruptly. And it was more a quiet chuckle than a laugh. To my surprise, he does.
He"s cynical, brooding, mysterious and, most of all, damaged.
He"s a man who declares he"s broken, and one who detests the two very things I live for most: God and love. Yet, I"ve still fallen completely in love with him because I also see the good, something that no one else ever has.
I see a man who is strong, silent, honorable and beautiful.
He"s a man who is now scarred just as badly on the outside of his body as he is on the inside, all because of me. One who endured severe torture in order to save me from what would be the worst thing I will ever experience in my entire life.
He is a man I call my dark angel, one who will have my heart until the end of time, even if I can never have his. That"s until ten years later, when I walked into an open field in Iraq to hear the most incredible voice I would ever hear in my life. One that rooted me to my spot, and ended up belonging to the most beautiful woman in the world.
The only woman to ever make me feel something again, something that I thought was dead inside of me. And no matter how badly I wanted to keep her, I knew I couldn"t.
Not with what I have lurking inside of me. It"s something I"ve always kept hidden. That is, until the day I unleashed it on the people who dared to hurt her. It was the one thing that gave me the strength to save us, but it was also the one thing that would remind me of why I could never have her.
Now two years later, the one girl I never thought I would ever see again, the one I have spent my days and nights craving like an addict, walks back into my life unexpectedly, giving us both the shock of our lives.
And when the time comes that she needs me again, I no longer resist. Before I know it, I"m pulled into a life I thought I could never have, one that scares the shit out of me but it"s one I"m realizing I want. There is just one problem. One very big problem" She lives for the very thing I loathe, and the one thing that killed my sister" God.
It is not suitable for anyone under the age of LynnBooks by Author:K.
That"s the last time I"m going to let Sawyer drag me to a fucking preppy jock party. I told him this would happen, but the guy is always in the mood to party, and for some reason he doesn"t feel he can do that without me. I clench and unclench my hand, my tender knuckles aching from busting them open on Clay Rogers" face.
That asshole is lucky all he got was a broken nose and a busted mouth. Maybe next time he will think twice about opening his fucking trap about my family. Doesn"t he think I know my dad was an abusive alcoholic and that my mom is a pathetic junkie" I was at the receiving end of my old man"s fists almost daily.
He did not need to fucking remind me.
I hate when people bring up my father, because then I"m reminded of who I am and where I come from. Sometimes when I"m out with Evans I let myself forget, or at least pretend to be someone different, someone I"m not.
But then, on nights like tonight, I get a fucking wake-up call. Not only reminding me of who I come from, but that I also have the same darkness inside of me that he did.
There are times I can feel it fester in me, waiting to be unleashed, always there but never surfacing. I bury it deep; hoping one day it will eventually go away if I ignore it long enough. The last thing I ever want is to become like him, or hell, even my mother for that matter.
No, not Mother" Maria. She doesn"t deserve to be called Mom. There are times when I think she"s worse than my old man.
He would fucking beat me so bad, to the point of being bed-ridden for days from it, and she never gave a shit. She was never strong enough to stand up to him.
One of the best things that ever happened to me was when my asshole father drank himself stupid one night and wrapped his truck around a tree. I thought she would straighten out after that, and start being the mother she was always supposed to be, but nope.
Up until recently, she rarely worked since she was always too busy latching herself to whatever fucking loser would provide her with her next fix. I swing my gaze over to the door and make out the tiny figure in the dark.
The only good thing that ever came from my fucked-up parents and the only reason I"m still in this hellhole. If it weren"t for my little sister I would have left here long ago.
What are you still doing awake"" "I can"t sleep. Can I sleep with you again"" She"s already moving toward me before she even finishes the question, knowing I won"t say no. I"d never say no to her for anything. This is the fourth night in two weeks that she"s slept with me.
Normally I don"t even hear her come in; I just wake up with her plastered against my chest or back.
It"s obvious something is bothering her. I move over as she crawls her tiny body up beside my big one. For a fifteen-year-old I"m bigger than most kids my age; it"s the only thing I"m grateful that I inherited from my old man.
Mia is the complete opposite of me. For a seven-year-old she is smaller than most.
She"s also sweet, innocent and untainted. There isn"t an ounce of darkness in her. Guilt begins to plague me, for not being able to do more to get us both the fuck out of here and away from Maria.
She says things are going to be better because of this new guy she"s seeing, the one who"s going to help her get on a new path" God"s path. Yeah right, the guy is a fucking kook, and Maria is even crazier if she thinks we are going to live anywhere with him. I overheard him trying to convince her to have us come live out at his place, which is in some compound that"s way out in the fucking boonies.
I went and looked it up as soon as I heard them talking about it. The place is isolated and seems completely messed-up. I thought the guy was Amish or something, from the way it looked, but Maria said he isn"t.
I don"t know what the hell it is; all I know is my sister is not living out there. Mia curls in next to me with her stuffed pink rabbit that she carries with her all the time, the one I won for her at the fair two years ago.
Glancing down at her, I see the thick, white ribbon tied in her hair that she has worn to bed every night for as long as I can remember. Her soft, innocent, little face is turned up at me, and her chocolate brown eyes are filled with sadness. What"s wrong"" She looks down at my chest and shrugs.
We are pretty tight.