Photo credit: Peter Lindbergh - Warner Bros. Cooper directed the movie and stars as Jackson Maine, a down-and-out country singer who meets struggling artist Ally, played by musical dynamo Lady Gaga.
Forza del Destino? Bass Jokes How do you tell if a bass is actually dead? Hold out a check but don't be fooled: a slight, residual spasmodic clutching action may occur even hours after death has occurred. How do you tell if a bass is dead?
What's the difference? Who cares? In the last act of Don Giovanni, there is always a statue which is replaced at some point by a real singer, a bass the Commendatore. How can you tell when the switch has occurred? The "statue" starts looking a bit stiff. How many basses does it take to change a lightbulb?
They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins. High School Chorus Jokes What is the difference between the men's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance?
The tennis final has more men. How does a young man become a member of a high school chorus? On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.
What is the difference between a world war and a high school choral performance? The performance causes more suffering. Why do high school choruses travel so often?
Keeps assassins guessing. What's the definition of an optimist? A choral director with a mortgage. What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee? It's scientifically proven that chimpanzees are able to communicate with humans. The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
What's the least-used sentence in the English language? Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string. The stage is level. How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Give him some sheet music.
What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common. Both suck when you plug them in. How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?
Put a chart in front of him. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None--they just steal somebody else's light. What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on? He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
What's the best thing to play on a guitar? How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
|Tennis esta de regreso con la canción Ladies Don’t Play Guitar||Everyone tinkers.|
|Ladies Don’t Play Guitar, a song by Tennis on Spotify||Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo From singers to drummers, roadies to rock critics, music is an industry still overwhelmingly dominated by men — but perhaps not forever.|
|Guitar Elbow? How Guitar Playing Causes Tennis Elbow & What To Do||Billy Mackenzie The Associates were a band that should have conquered the world.|
|A smolderingly sardonic feminist anthem from the duo's forthcoming full||I am not a song-a-day person.|
They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice. One, but the guitarist has to show him first. Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source? One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed? If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a story building, which one lands first?
What's the difference between an Uzi and an accordion? The Uzi stops after 20 rounds. What do you call ten accordians at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. What's a bassoon good for? Kindling for an accordion fire. What's a accordion good for? Learning how to fold a map. What do you call a group of topless female accordian players?
Ladies in Pain Play an accordian--go to jail! Three rows and you're out! Minimum safe distances between street musicians and the public: Violinist: 25 feet Tone Deaf Guitar Player who knows 3 chords: 75 feet 15 year-old Electric Guitar Player with Nirvana fixation: feet Accordionist: 60 miles A "Chang" is a Central Asian instrument from countries such as Uzbekistan.
It's something like a hammered dulcimer with a damper pedal.